Reflections on Writing the Beginning Chapter
As a writer of the first chapter of my first fictional novel, I can see the advantage of being excited about the plot. Writing is a lonely self absorbing process; I need an emotional clasp to keep my fingers moving in response to flowing thoughts. In daily life there so many detractions, attractions, and necessities that take place. When an inspiration comes to mind I need to write immediately, so the presence of pen and paper are always necessary for that constant fleeting thought; An idea will fly away in a second, similar to quail exploding at the shadow of a coyote.
–Richard Milleville, a/k/a Duke
The lead, Jacob Dunlap got inside the reader by his thoughts and feelings. His moral compass, honor, is unlike those around him, and it comes out abruptly.
== A must read novel of passionate characters that all need and want something. A must read for those who enjoy Kindle.
— Richard Milleville
“Happiness for me are great characters developed for a fictional book I am writing. Characters that live life with excitement and are strong. These are folks with faults and a dark side.”
I provided another copy to Ed, an elderly retired neighbor. Ed got a thrill out of reading it and stayed up most of the night for the read. He then went through it all making changes and comments. He prefers short choppy sentences. He wanted to change the stare of the snake’s eyes to Caleb instead of the heat supply. He was not familiar with the old novel, The Last of the Mohicans. Also Ed wanted to put in sentences with colons and semicolons which are not compatible with fast paced commercial fiction.
My response to his comments:
My research shows that snakes see prey only in terms of the degree of heat from parts of a body so that will remain. The Last of the Mohicans was a favorite book of mine from childhood and remains so. The use of semicolons and colons should be minimal on commercial fiction. I thought the quoted part was very appropriate for this book for obvious reasons. I was delighted that he enjoyed it so very much that he lost sleep over it. He spent a great deal of time in his review of it and it is very detailed. His responses reveal that an older reader is very interested in a complex topic that has a lot of spark.
==Richard Milleville, a/k/a Duke
Comment on novel to be published on Kindle
Here is my critique, overall I really like it!
There was a great opening scene in this story which involved one of the potential main character’s death. It immediately roped me in and gave me a sense as to where the story was going. There did not seem to be a lot of unnecessary things at this stage. At the end of the first chapter there would seem to be two leads, Jacob and Daisy. Both of them fit in with the setting both in terms of their employment and speaking inflection.
The tone seems to fluctuate between lusty and depressed early on, and while later this might work I think at this stage you want a clear depressed tone; the husband just dies now isn’t the time to go into his wife’s assets. The narrator’s appreciation for her form can come in later.
The unknown narrator works. The word choice is spot on for the story. Scenes work well, I’d say don’t force a segue when you just break the chapter off and start a new one.
I definitely get the sense act one is over; it’s time for Jacob to find a job and Daisy to avenge her husband without law enforcement to help.
Don, SMU English major, Dallas, Texas
“Every story would be another story, and unrecognizable if it took up its characters and plot and happened somewhere else…Fiction depends for its life on place. Place is the crossroads of circumstance, the proving ground of What happened? Who’s there? Who’s coming?”
“Sometimes I can better describe a person by another person’s reaction. In a story in my first book I couldn’t think of a way to sufficiently describe the charisma of a certain boy so the narrator says “I knew girls who saved his gum.”
An old miner telling his young companions the secret of panning for gold, “You gotta know how to tickle it so she comes out laughing.”
–the Treasure of the Sierra Madre
“Try to remember the good, bad, and ugly in your life, it gives you character.”
–Richard Milleville, Dukes Quotes
The best word to describe The Passionate Novel would be; impassioned, fervent, ardent, emotional,earnest, intense, fiery, fierce, furious, furious, raging, tempestuous, excited, wrought-up, inflamed, feeling, heartfelt, enthusiastic, hot, heated, vehement, intoxicating, ecstatic, loving, amorous, desirous, lustful, sensuous, carnal, erotic, and just plain sexy. Yes, words can describe this story of passion.
–Richard Milleville, The Passionate Novel